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The World According to Sara

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Reason why I think I will like Benoit Jul. 3rd, 2008 @ 05:37 pm

Dan (girl, not crazy like Crazy Dan) has a new boyfriend. She has been seeing him for a while now, but I've yet to meet him. So tonight, she has invited me over for dinner and canasta.

In related news, she taught him to play and he went down and out on her the first game.

Anyways, we spoke today on the phone and made plans and then the following emails were sent between us.

She wrote:

I am so pleased that my two most favourite people in the world will be meeting tonight chez moi. 
On the agenda:
1.      Meet & Greet
2.      Eat & Speak
3.      Canasta & Banasta?
(yes I am a lame-assa)
Does 6:30pm work for both of you two bright stars in my life?

To which I replied:

Do we have to do things in that order? I'm thinking eat and speak, then canasta, then meet. Also, I would really rather not banasta with you, I think Em would get jealous. That and I still have that rash...

To which he replied:

Yeah...I JUST got rid of MY rash...therefore, I wouldn't banasta either... .  That said...I can hold the camera if need be...?!?

I like him already.

And then Dan showed me just why we are best friends:

U guys are sic fuks.
PS…if banasta is really a word,,,I had no idea and still do not know what it means. Based on those Rash stories I do not think I want to know either! 
Double PS. Show up whenever you are done whatever you are doing. Let’s aim for 7pm the latest (I need my beauty rest and still want to cream someone in a couple of rounds of Canasta)
Triple PS no cream jokes please!

I had the perfect banasta cream hair pie joke too. Damn.

I attract the crazies Jun. 24th, 2008 @ 08:21 pm
I've been meaning to write here more, but .... things and stuff. But I couldn't resist sharing this one.

I attract crazy people.

I knew this already of course, but seriously!

I went to see crazy Dan last week. I walked into the group home where he is now staying and thought that one of the guys sitting in the kitchen looked familiar. But then thought nothing of it and kept walking. 
I was waiting in Dan's room for him to finish his coffee (or the dishes, or whatever) when I hear the following:

"Was that Sara?"
"Yeah.. you know Sara?"
"Yeah, do you mind if I go say hi?"
"No, go right ahead"

So I hear a knock at the door and look up to see my little sisters ex boyfriend. 


In the crazy house. 

With crazy Dan

This is the bf that cheated on my sister (1 mark in the crazy column) with my roomate (another one in the crazy column and one in the piss me off column) a couple of years ago. 

He proceeds to tell me that he was in jail and that some people were hurt, but "not like hurt, hurt... they're ok *now*"
and that he spent some time in Pinel as well.

So yeah, I go to the crazy house and they all know me there. (And no, I'm not talking about my mum's place.)
The people must think that we were all roomies over at Pinel or that I make them all crazy. 

Pork is the meat of Kings Jan. 25th, 2008 @ 05:12 pm
I love Steph for many reasons.

One being that she knows me so well.

This means that she knows the things that will amuse me.

Like this does


I know Em won't be there with me... Dec. 21st, 2007 @ 06:36 pm
Anyone else want to meet up with me at 1:08?

The Good Night

A did it, so I had to Dec. 19th, 2007 @ 07:21 pm
And of course, it has to be called Bacontown!
Other entries
» Randomness is my name, being random is my game.
Though it seems that being witty is no longer a game in which I am allowed to participate. I'm like Rudolph, but for smart games. Random the first: I have to say though that this commercial is not true for me. But I was young. There was streaking... and peeing... and a trip to the depanneur. And probably lots of drugs. Did I mention I was young? Random the second: So, more than 5 feet of snow before the first day of winter is pushing it a bit. I had to park blocks away from my place the other night. And to think last year, Jubes was all sorts of annoyed because we didn't have a white Christmas. She's definitely not getting one this year, what with being down in Australia. But I think she's probably happy about the lack of slushy, freezy weather. I hope that this non-normal Christmas isn't as bad as the last one we had. I don't need to have another car accident. Random the third: I want to open my present from the girl. I really want it to be the sperm ring (check out the 3D view). But I know it's not. Maybe I can convince the cat to shred the box open tonight. Random the fourth: Watched 2 Sides of the Bed the other night. Was not expecting a musical, though it was kinda funny. - Carlota to the girls as they come out of the washroom all disheveled: *slurring* "I think you forgot something!" *holding panties* - Girls: "She was really sick" - Carlota - "Yes, I'll bet" *laughs then drunkenly closes the door* -Carlota - *throws door open* "Shit, those were mine!" Random the fifth: Nitsa gave me lots of bacon things a while ago. Minty grossness Stick form grossness Awesome pennant! Random the sixth: Seeing my boy, his girl, and the parental units on Friday. Having dinner with the girls on Saturday.
» For the montreality girl
I haven't posted in forever. Mostly because of the whole Big Brother thing, but also because my life is boring right now. I'm waiting, along with the girl, for more news from Immigration Quebec. If they decide to take the papers we sent, it should be fine. If they send another message in a few weeks, I'll have to go and kick some ass.

I've been very very antisocial lately. I haven't even seen my friend Michelle's new baby, and it's been almost 2 months. This is mostly because I was feeling under the weather and didn't want to get him sick. And then I was gone to Toronto. And then there was stock take. And then I got sick for real. I'm just now starting to feel better. 

In funny news, I got a message from Audrey on Myspace a while back. 
Don't know what's going to happen with all that. Maybe be friends again. 

I've been on Facebook way too much lately, but it's fun and I get to get all the news about my friends rather quickly. Like a certain straight crush of mine getting engaged. Hmph. 

I need to get out more. I need to do something other than watch TV and cuddle the cat, or spend time with the family. 
Though the TV watching does lead to some amusing X-rated Jericho/Friday Night Lights dreams that make me laugh when I wake up. That or it rots my brains. Or makes me hungry. (Iron Chef America - bacon - 'nuff said)

By the way, if you haven't seen Jericho, I suggest you do. I loves it. And when you do... Heather was my girlfriend in my dream.
» It's been a long time but I was wondering...
What's the deal with this? I mean, at the end, there are four guys standing around the car... but we only saw three of them save anyone. Does the fourth guy not actually care? Did he let his guy die and so they cut him from the commercial? Maybe it's like those toothbrush commercials... 3 out of 4 safety engineers agree that safety is important. These are the things I think about all day.
» Randomness for random's sake.. bacon, bow chica wah wah, and dental dams

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I forgot to mention that unlike last time, they had grape and mint. But I didn't get any. "this sit is minpy, em ah en tee wah" or "this sit is gwapee, gee arr aa pee wah". Neither sounded quite right.
» Sex toys and thai food
Bought mum her toy. I hate my friends.

You know me, I have no problem whatsoever buying toys at a sex shop. Been there, done that, named them all, almost got kicked out for playing with the whips.

But buying one for mum was.. bad. MahBitch™, her boi and the John-O came with after we stopped at Hurley's for a pint. Probably not the smartest thing I've ever done. First of all, there was no Dusty. I should have known that things weren't going to get better. Walked over to Sexe Cite. Started blushing when I walked up to the wall-o-dildoes. Didn't help that the three muskateers decided to make it worse by showing me all sorts of things and asking me if she would like them.

"How about this?" *holding a fist, a butt plug, a 12 inch dong*
"Or this?" *holding an inflatable butt plug* "Mum and Harold can share!"

Then the helpful lady walks up to help me. (Remember, I'm blushing like a fool)
"Hello... is this the first time you are buying a toy?"
"Oh, god no"
"Oh then why... *points at blushing me*?"
"Because this is for my mum"
"Oh, nice present"
"yeah, mother's day and all, yunno"
"What kind would she like?"
"Uhh.. I don't know... I don't want to know" *vomits a little in mouth*
"Well, this one is pretty regular"
"OK, fine... sounds good" *nodding*
"Ok let me just make sure it works"
*puts batteries in and places it in my hand*
"See, it works"
*brain explodies*
"Uh... thanks.. I'll take it, just put it by the cash"
"Do you want batteries... oh, I'll just give them to you... since it's for mother's day"
*shudders* "Ok, thanks." *tries to walk away*
"Do you need lube with that"
*cringes* "I don't... I don't know"
"I'll just add some... for mother's day and all" *winks*

I just about died. I'm not easily embarrassed. But that was almost enough to kill me.

Anyways, I gave it to her. I don't want to know if she loves it or not. Though the hug she gave me suggests that it was something that she's been wanting for a while.

As Em said, we put the "fun" in dysfunctional.

Spent some quality time with John the other night. Every once in a while, John and I will sit and talk. No other family around, just the two of us. He needs it... someone he can talk to that knows all the players, but can just listen to the bitching and not take it personally. The one thing that he mentioned that made me laugh was when he said that he isn't getting any. And that my brother in law in Trinidad says the same thing. And so did JF. Quote of the night from John was "The only one of you who's not yunno "normal", is the only one who's normal in bed. You must take after your mum. Maybe your dad didn't really like sex"

Since then, not much has been happening. Helping mum and Harold with the kitchen. Spent most of the time taking glue off the floor and putting stuff back though. Everything is almost done. They are putting the floor in today.

This weekend went out for Melin's b-day. Had yummy thai food with the girls and some of Mel's friends; Genevieve, Ross, Ali P, Alitra, and Ali A. Then a bunch of us headed over to Hurley's for a few pints. Had a great time, though there was no Dusty, again *cries*. Did see Sheila for a few seconds though, just long enough to say hi. Drove Melissa, and the drunk twins home. Got stopped at a roadblock, but the cop saw the two of them, one giggling and one passed out and just waved us through.
» My mum is weird
So the year before last, I got her stoned for mother's day. We smoked some weed and then watched TV and ate ice cream together.

This year, there is no way I'm doing anything with her.

I was actually prepared... my little sis is going to be out of town this weekend, so I don't have a fall back plan. I have to buy something myself. So instead of buying mum a plant or something she really doesn't want, I called to ask what she really wanted. Her exact words were "something to put in my drawers".

See, she's re-doing the kitchen at her place, and she loves the organizer things from IKEA. That's what she meant.

But of course, pervy me was all confused.

"Something to put in your drawers?!?"
(take into account, mum's English)
"Oh... hehehehe, no... from IKEA... for the kitchen drawers, not mine, perv!"
"But, come to think of it, I need one of those too. Your sister can get me the kitchen stuff... you buy me one of *those* things"

So, anyone want to make a run to Sexecite with me? Perhaps on Thursday? With a stop to see Dusty?
» Is it Friday the 13th?
You wouldn't think so... but not so for me.

I managed to hurt my back last night moving Soso's litter. It didn't hurt last night, but now my back hurts if I stay in any position for longer than three minutes.

Then I got to work... sneezed.. had a mini nosebleed. Got myself cleaned up in time to open a package from the office in Houston.

Go into the warehouse and realise that I have a long, thin papercut across my ring finger.

Nose plugged with tissue... check.
Bandaid on the finger.. check.
Back in spasms... check.

No TGIF for me.
» Long time no see...
So I never get a chance to go online anymore. No computer access at home and new Big Brother™ type office computers make for a not so happy Sara.
Haven't been up to much lately. Wii-ing with the KingFish and John-O and spending time with high school friends. One gets a yay and the other gets a gag.
There is a reason why I am still in contact with only a select few of my high school friends. The others are boring. Married, engaged, houses... nothing special, but that's all they talk about. Was at a table of 10 last night at Marggie's baby shower and I thought Danielle and I were going to go batty. Though that might have been because we got there at 6 and the guests of honour only got there just after 8. Other than that it was fun to see Rog and Mark's parents. I've known them since we were all 3.
Sorry I couldn't make it to the b-day celebrations archdiva.

Last weekend was full of stuff though. Thursday was Jess' bachlorette. Had lots of fun and met her mum... total MILF. Also got to meet some of her friends. Crazy lady Bonnie totally felt me up, and Sheila has the cutest irish accent. *drools*
Saturday was the wedding. Simple civil ceremony, followed by the reception at Carlos and Pepe's (she's only 21, 'nuff said). Our table, which consisted of Mum, Harold, Jubes, Elise, Sheila, Kieran and I, was the loud and fun one. Elise asking the waiter if she needed a boob job, Jubes mentioning anal leakage, and lots of silliness made for a good afternoon.
Sheila and Kieran were both working over at O'Regans so our table decided to continue the celebrations there.
I felt bad because I was just across the street from Dusty... and I was sure that she would find out. Don't want to make the Dusty girl mad. We managed to add to our group when mum and Harold met another couple who were in for the weekend from England. Bernadette and Steve fit right in. Of course though, I got caught. There I was, sitting by the window enjoying my pint, when I hear a knock on the glass. I look up and it's Dusty. She pouts and points at me and my glass as if to ask "what the hell?" I explain that we were all at a wedding and that it's only a one time thing. She says it's ok because she was off anyway and would be drinking there too. About 30 minutes later, Sheila walks up to me and says "Dusty's told me that you can't be a regular here." I look up to see Dusty at the next table smiling. Ha!
I guess I better go over soon and beg forgiveness. Anyone want to come?
» I love you.
I've been looking for this for a while, it makes me laugh everytime I see it.

Stupid having to be up early when you've had a late night.

Went to J's b-day celebrations last night after sleeping off the icky feelings of the afternoon. Left kinda late and as I was dropping John at home, picked up a random stranger who had run out of gas. 20 minutes and two gas stations later he was up and running again. He even offered me 50 bucks for helping him out... not that it would have hurt him what with that huge wad of cash he was flashing. By the time I got home and fell asleep, it was after 4. And I was here at 8:30.

Me sleepy.

Me go shopping for baby stuff now with Dana.

Yay.</ saracasm>
» I read but don't comment, I hardly ever update...
And when I do, all I do is post about bacon.

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I really have a problem.
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